There is power in words. There is power in action. There have been books, articles, and blogs written about the power of saying “yes” and also on the power of saying “no.” When it comes to dating, it can be easy to justify saying “no” more often than “yes.” You’re not attracted to him? It’s a no. He’s not tall enough? It’s a no. He doesn’t make enough money? It’s a no. Are all of those no’s getting you nay closer to where you want to be? No, they are not! It’s easy to “no” yourself into being 45 and single, wondering how you ended up there.
My challenge to you is to start approaching dating by saying “yes.” Outside of someone being unsafe or a bad person (someone with a history of abuse, drug use, a criminal record, etc.) start saying “yes” to dates, even if it’s not someone who you are immediately drawn to. He may not be someone that you find attractive and he may even be shorter than what you prefer, but say yes anyways! He may not have all of the qualities you desire on paper but say yes anyways! He may not share your passion for tennis and red wine but say yes anyways!
Let’s be reasonable here. I don’t want you to spend 5 hours on a Saturday afternoon with someone that you have no interest in spending time with, but why not grab a cup of coffee with him on Saturday morning before you start your day? Or meet him for a quick happy hour drink after work on Friday before meeting up with your friends? Spending one hour meeting someone new is productive for countless reasons. Humans need connection and connecting with another human being makes you feel good. Your date could lead to a new friendship. Your date may end up introducing you to the love of your life. Your date may teach you something new. Your date may be a great professional connection. Your date may be good practice for dating and give you a confidence boost. Your date may even be the person you fall in love with!
As a matchmaker, I have hundreds of stories of couples who did not initially want to meet each other because they did not meet each other’s idea of who their ideal partner would be. They reluctantly went on a date and ended up falling in love. Guess what? There is a lot more to a relationship than finding someone who meets every item on your list of qualities that you envision your ideal partner having. No marriage has ever ended because he wasn’t tall enough or because she didn’t love country music. What makes a relationship work goes far beyond the superficial. I challenge you to say “yes” to the date who may not fit your check-list, because that person may be the one that you connect with on a level that you can’t explain. When you fall in love, the connection isn’t going to make perfect sense. You will have a sense of “knowing” that this is your person and you will be so thankful that you did not say no to the opportunity.
There is something magical about saying “yes” to every opportunity to meet someone new. It’s like you are sending a message to the universe that you are open to receiving love and that you are ready to meet your person. You are putting positive energy out into the world and allowing the world to deliver you positive results. You are approaching dating from a place of curiosity, hope, and positivity. You are allowing yourself to be vulnerable and open.
When you say “no” to dates, the opposite happens. You are telling the universe that you are closed to allowing love in your life. You are telling the universe that you are not willing to compromise, therefore, you do not have what it takes to make a relationship last. Long-lasting love takes a great deal of understanding and the ability to compromise. If you are telling the universe that you are not ready for that, the universe is not going to deliver it.
As you approach dating, consciously shout “YES!” to the universe. Say yes to dates, yes to meeting new people, and yes to love!
